Happy Thursday!
Hello, hello, hello, and happy Thursday! To be quite honest, I’m not feeling it today. My moods can fluctuate pretty fast, and this is one of those times. Do you ever get that way? Can you be over-the-moon one day, and then memories or situations hit and then bam, you’re down in the dumps?
Well, I’m not going to let it ruin my whole day or anything, but I needed a moment to feel the pain that stays deep inside over things I can’t control.
Do you know what I find interesting? In the Bible, it says to pray for our enemies, and I used to take that as to pray for them to be blessed. After looking into it more though, through Biblical examples, mainly through the life of David, I have come to another possible conclusion. David prayed for his enemies; he prayed for them to get what they deserved!
Now, I am not saying that this is what I am going to start doing, but I do find it very interesting. The Bible tells us to love our enemies and to leave revenge up to God. Sometimes I believe that loving our enemies is staying away from them so no more damage will be done.
Today’s Poem
Today’s poem stems from heartbreak, sadness, and pain that I try to push deep inside because I can’t change it. It’s something I need to just accept and move on from because I can’t do anything about it. I can only get it out of my head through my writing, and at the same time, pray for peace.
Eventually, after full acceptance is reached, peace will follow. You may relate to this poem, and if you do, then I feel for you. Writing down feelings, even if they are feelings that some think should be resolved, can be very therapeutic. Everyone heals at their own pace, and eventually, I will get there. If you are dealing with this sort of thing, I hope you can find peace as well!
Unresolved Pain
They were laughing
I went crawling
Putting on a show
I did not see
All of the back-stabbing
I allowed it
Finding out now
The joke was on me
Never could
They handle the truth
Feeding me lies
Like candy
No integrity
No pride found
They spit in my face
Left me lying on the ground
They were laughing
I couldn’t see it
Yet in the background
I felt incomplete
Why am I just
Realizing this now
Because I wanted
Their love so badly
It blinded me
So many years
Full of false affection
Blocking out tears
Doing their bidding
Trying to fit in
Always disappointed
Onto the next scheme
Begging for their love
Yet they were laughing
So I had to extinguish
Bonds of love
That never existed
So what if they’re
Still laughing now
I am a real person
With real feelings
And I deserve more
Than the abuse they
Showcase as love
Such a sick concept
Why didn’t I see it
When everyone else around me
Could see the farse
Now I sit here
With years on end wasted
Trying to rebuild
No, trying to build
A life without them
Why do I let them
hurt me again
In every whisper
I won’t cry a tear
Maybe someday
I can forget them
And stop caring
so deeply about them
Maybe someday
I’ll love myself enough
To stop punishing myself
for just trying to be loved
Until then
it’s hard to accept
the awful fact
that the joke’s on me
Unresolved pain won’t
go unnoticed
I will heal
I will be free
Until next time, stay safe, and be blessed!