I Felt You Here With Me

 

Happy Wednesday!!!

 

 

Hello, hello, hello, and happy Wednesday! It’s one of my favorite days of the week because of course, it’s garbage day over here. Today is also my orientation for my new job, so that will be interesting. Because of the virus, it will be through a Zoom meeting, so I won’t even have to leave the house. What a strange time we are living in!

 

 

I am kind of glad I am not leaving the house because I have been a little emotional over missing my Dad. I have visited his grave twice in the last few weeks, and seem to feel his presence more strongly. Since his mom passed away a few weeks ago, (my Grandma) I have been thinking about him even more. Since I have almost no contact with my other family members it can get quite lonely over here, being isolated in Idaho. That leads me to today’s poem…

 

Today’s Poem

 

Today’s poem is about my Dad. Last night I felt his presence so very strongly that it took me hours before I could get it together. I cried, which I almost never do anymore. I know it can be healthy to cry, but it’s not my thing and I don’t like my husband to see me cry either. It’s very rare, and he has barely ever seen me cry in the eight years we have been together. 

 

This poem helped me release a little portion of what I was feeling. If you have ever lost a loved one you can relate to the heartache it brings. We never get over the pain, and it can hit us when we least expect it. Sometimes it is a constant ache that can even last for years. Either way, it is an awful agony to go through. Here we go with my poem for today…

 

 

 

 

I Felt You Here With Me

 

I felt you here with me

Almost like a dream

Yet I was fully awake

I dared not speak to you

In fear of making you disappear

 

My inner eyes beheld your radiance

Your smile comforted my soul

I felt your loving arms around me

Tears came to my eyes when I realized

That you were no more

Except a hope and a dream

Still, I knew I would see you again

Someday In our heavenly home

 

My anguish grew as I realized 

No amount of compromise

Would bring you back to me

As I stood there staring at the stone in the ground 

Wondering where you were now 

Picturing your crooked smile and remembering

your last words to me, as you said,  ”I’ll see you in a month, I love you.”

Well, I saw you sooner, but it was at your funeral

 

I cried so hard- we all did

As you lay  there so still

Yet, I had total faith that you might wake up

And say it was just some sick joke 

And that everything would be OK

 

But it was not OK

And it’s still not OK

And everything has been different ever since that terrible day

But life goes on without you anyway

For life and death are with us every day

 

And even as I miss you I know  that you’re still with me 

And when I feel you near me 

I hope I can piece together just one more memory

It helps me to keep you alive within me

Until I see you again

 

I miss you Dad, and always will

I love you Dad, I’m crying now

And if you’re here and reading this now

I hope somehow I can make you proud

 

 

 

Remember that you are not alone. We are all in this together. If you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to reach out to me. Everyone has their own worst story, and everyone has a right to their feelings about situations they have been through. Sometimes a listening ear can make all of the difference in this world full of sorrows.

 

Until next time, stay safe, and be blessed! 

 

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