Happy Thursday!

Hello, hello, hello, and happy Thursday! To be quite honest, I’m not feeling it today. My moods can fluctuate pretty fast, and this is one of those times. Do you ever get that way? Can you be over-the-moon one day, and then memories or situations hit and then bam, you’re down in the dumps? 

Well, I’m not going to let it ruin my whole day or anything, but I needed a moment to feel the pain that stays deep inside over things I can’t control. 

Do you know what I find interesting? In the Bible, it says to pray for our enemies, and I used to take that as to pray for them to be blessed. After looking into it more though, through Biblical examples, mainly through the life of David, I have come to another possible conclusion. David prayed for his enemies; he prayed for them to get what they deserved!

Now, I am not saying that this is what I am going to start doing, but I do find it very interesting. The Bible tells us to love our enemies and to leave revenge up to God. Sometimes I believe that loving our enemies is staying away from them so no more damage will be done. 

Today’s Poem

Today’s poem stems from heartbreak, sadness, and pain that I try to push deep inside because I can’t change it. It’s something I need to just accept and move on from because I can’t do anything about it. I can only get it out of my head through my writing, and at the same time,  pray for peace.

Eventually, after full acceptance is reached, peace will follow. You may relate to this poem, and if you do, then I feel for you. Writing down feelings, even if they are feelings that some think should be resolved, can be very therapeutic. Everyone heals at their own pace, and eventually, I will get there. If you are dealing with this sort of thing, I hope you can find peace as well!  

Unresolved Pain

They were laughing

I went crawling

Putting on a show

I did not see

All of the back-stabbing

I allowed it

Finding out now

The joke was on me

Never could

They handle the truth

Feeding me lies

Like candy

No integrity

No pride found

They spit in my face

Left me lying on the ground

They were laughing

I couldn’t see it

Yet in the background

I felt incomplete

Why am I just

Realizing this now

Because I wanted

Their love so badly

It blinded me

So many years

Full of false affection

Blocking out tears

Doing their bidding

Trying to fit in

Always disappointed

Onto the next scheme

Begging for their love

Yet they were laughing

So I had to extinguish

Bonds of love

That never existed

So what if they’re

Still laughing now

I am a real person

With real feelings

And I deserve more

Than the abuse they

Showcase as love

Such a sick concept

Why didn’t I see it

When everyone else around me

Could see the farse

Now I sit here

With  years on end  wasted

Trying to rebuild 

No, trying to build

A life without them

Why do I let them 

hurt me again

In every whisper

I won’t cry a tear

Maybe someday

I can forget them

And stop caring

so deeply about them

Maybe someday

I’ll love myself enough

To stop punishing myself

for just trying to be loved

Until then

it’s hard to accept

the awful fact

that the joke’s on me

Unresolved pain won’t

go unnoticed

I will heal

I will be free

Until next time, stay safe, and be blessed!