Woohoo for Cinco de Mayo

Hello, hello, hello and happy Cinco de Mayo! My family and I celebrated early yesterday because my kids are going to be with their Dad tonight. We had a taco Monday and later we made smores over the fire pit, which was really fun! My son wanted to play with matches, and I know that it is supposed to be a no-no, but he is a teenager and was supervised so I allowed him to get the desire out of his system. 

Today’s Poem

Today’s poem has to do with mania- something I know about all too well- unfortunately. It’s a strange phenomenon to have to deal with and I never know when it will happen or what will trigger it. I will say that it is the most amazing feeling I have ever felt, but the crash that follows is never ever worth the high that mania brings. I hope that the poem gives you a little insight into what it is like to have Bipolar disorder. 

Mania

It is like someone flips a switch
Turns me into a superhuman
Electricity flows through my veins
The more I try to fight it
The more I feel like I could fly
No fear inside
Nothing can stop me
The only things I dread during this phase
Is the guaranteed crash that follows
And the next visit to the hospital If they only knew what a lonely illness this is
What a life to have to deal with this awful condition
And the stigma that it brings
You would think that by now
Society would accept that mental illness is just like any other ailment
It is not our fault
It is not an excuse we use for our behavior
It is something we cannot control at times
We try to utilize the resources we have
Yet sometimes the illness takes over and does what it pleases
It hurts when family members or friends ditch out on us when we go into a manic episode
Or when they call the police when we go into a depression when what we really need is their support when we are experiencing either condition
If they only knew how much it hurts to be abandoned during these times
If they only know how the police have treated us with such brutality when they came to apprehend us
would they still have made those choices?
I really do not know
All we really were trying to do was  reach out and get some love and support but some of us have learned that it is better to be alone sometimes with the pain because then at least there is no one here to judge us except

Ourselves
Thank God for people who have stuck by us during these tough times
We should not be defined by our illness.
We are human beings- just like everyone else
Trying to make it in this world of judgments along with other humans 
And it is not easy
But instead of trying to give up
We will continue to fight this time

And I am determined not to give up this time around

Until next time, stay safe and be blessed!

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