Photo by Estée Janssens on Unsplash
Greetings!
Hello, to you, and I hope you’re doing well! I am sitting in complete shock right now and a little embarrassed. Since I am not yet the greatest at navigating my entire website, I tend to overlook things. I also took such a long break that I haven’t gotten caught up. The shocking thing to me is that I have a bunch of comments. In my mind, no one was reading my blog!
It Will Get Better!
Sometimes I feel lost in this blog because my brain tells me that poetry is dead, but it can’t be true! If I like it, then someone else will too. I know this blog is all over the place, but I will get the hang of it at some point and hopefully have more rhythm. I need to sift through the comments and approve or deny them, which may take a little while. I am touched by all the kind comments and glad to be back!
Today I want to talk about something I deal with- dissociation and derealization. No, I don’t have multiple personalities, thank goodness! Anyway, here we go!
Dealing with Dissociation and Derealization
I suffer from something called dissociation. It’s probably different for everyone, but I feel like I’m dreaming when it happens to me. Things don’t look as clear, and I can’t hear as clearly either.
If I’m not careful and give in to the moment, I tend to forget the experience entirely. If I practice grounding techniques, it helps me to remember better.
Grounding techniques help because I dissociate during certain social situations and Dr. appointments. Thankfully I don’t go anywhere without my husband, so he helps me remember.
During my school years, I spent more time in a dissociative state than I do now. Since I had to deal with people daily, I would often retreat to my safe place.
Another thing I frequently experience is derealization, and it’s when a person doesn’t feel real. Looking in the mirror can be freaky. Add a few personality disorders and several other mental disorders, and I sometimes ask myself, “Who am I?” Thinking too deeply about this becomes stressful, so I usually put it off for another day and avoid mirrors as much as possible.
It’s Difficult to Pretend “Normal”
These issues go deeper, but I am not ready to share further. Up until now, I’ve been embarrassed. When dissociation and/or derealization happen in a social setting or while in public, the goal becomes to try and play “normal.” I am not saying this is healthy; this is just how it is currently.
Let’s End the Stigma!
Another reason to briefly mention this is to help fight stigma. I believe that every little bit of knowledge and experience we share with others helps to make people more aware. Hopefully, this will make them more empathetic towards others.
I have been living in hiding with this problem for many years, just like many others; maybe it’s time we finally get out and live, too, rather than watch others live through our screens.
Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash
~Thanks for reading, and until next time, stay safe, and be blessed!~