~I have Bipolar and need to take pills to survive~

Hello, Poetry and writing Friends!

Hello, my poetry and writing friends! How are my fellow deep-thinkers doing? I hope you are all well!

It’s super hot still over here, but I am finding that sitting directly in front of the fan, sticking my head in the freezer, or running through the sprinkler really helps.

I am looking forward to things cooling off, though.

Today I am addressing mental health. I feel that the more people keep the conversation going, the more we can fight against the stigma and oppression we experience.

I know first-hand how cruel people can be when it comes to mental health issues. Sadly, many families discriminate against their family members. I know this type of treatment, and I won’t be putting up with it again.

One of my primary diagnoses is Bipolar Type-1. Right now, I am more stable than I have ever been, but I need to keep my guard up because depression is always underneath the surface, and mania can be triggered by, well, my triggers.

I’m more careful about who I allow in my life now because mental health matters, and part of taking care of our mental health is practicing good self-care. Sometimes self-care means you must walk away from people stealing your joy. I did, and I feel freer than I ever have.

If you are like me, you want a peaceful life. It’s attainable if you begin to rearrange your environment and thought processes. I just made that sound easy- it isn’t, but it’s sooooo very worth it.

~Poetry is for everyone!~

~Poetry is NOT dead!~

~Happy Poetry!~

I Became What I Feared the Most, and I’m Still Here

~I have Bipolar and need to take pills to survive~

sometimes it seems
these handfuls of pills
have turned into me

*

have I forgotten who I was before?

*

I remember
as a child
being afraid 
I would get Bipolar
when I heard it ran in the family

*

now
I sometimes
sleep too long
or not enough
for days on end
and stay indoors
while seasons change

*

the person standing
in the mirror
becoming a heavier
dizzier
and less aware
version of myself

*

things stopped
bothering me so much
suddenly
I could do different things
like hold a spider
in my hand
and play with it
like with a pet
not realizing it 
was due to mania

*

increase the dosage
swallow it down

*

these pills begin
to completely
slow 
me 
down
so much 
that it lessens
my ability to feel

*

but it’s ok
because before
I felt too much

*

so, even though 
I’m not sure which is the medication
and which is my personality

*

I wonder if it would be better
to forget the old me

*

the one who 
could barely
do anything

*

even if I have to deal
with all the many side effects 
in exchange for healing

*

I take them
because
what I most feared
I became

*

but I’m still living
a life with Bipolar
and I’m doing my best
and it hasn’t been the death of me yet

*

Don’t forget- if you ever need a friend, leave a message in the comments or email me at abstractstarr777@gmail.com. You are not alone!!! 🙂

~Thanks for reading! Until next time, stay safe, and be blessed!~ 🙂

~Happy Poetry!~