I wrote this poem back in 2011 when I was going through a really difficult time. Well, one of many… Anyway, I did not name it because I used to rebel against naming my poetry. Since I have been a (somewhat) deviant of society, why not rebel against poetry as well? 😉
All joking aside, I was in a very dark place, going through too many things to list. Plus, I do not want to get sued by anyone after mentioning what exactly caused my heartache- that is all I need!
Time has passed and I have had tragedies since, as most people probably do. Everyone has their own worst story that leads them to where they end up. My issues are no larger than anyone else’s when compared to the masses. Either way, poetry can truly help mend a broken soul.
A Nameless Poem From 2011
The days bring many
Reasons for the intonation
Voices spiralling from within
Constantly hastening
running wild
Where did this madness originate from
And wherever will it go
Or has it always been
The answer is
I do not know
This dangerous paper
Full of fire
directly from the
dragons mouth
Lost or suppressed
Push them away
Protect myself
Feed them rejection
Unattached but not completely
Encompassed
Yet disconnected
What could be the quandary
And when will this all end
To inhabit another day
Without clarity or focus
To face yet another moment
A moment deep within myself
Brings heartache
Self-hatred
Judgement
Torment
I hope God does not hate me
As much as I feel
hatred for myself sometimes
He says that He loves me
So this I must trust
And believe
Eventually
Emotions will fall in line
Until I can feel again
And until I can breathe life in
Until I don’t feel my sin
Hovering directly over me